Sunday, October 19, 2014

Animal Testing Is Completely Unnecessary (Post 1)

You hear about new cures for diseases, or new cosmetics coming out soon that will make your skin look radiant. These may sound appealing to you, but the real question is how are they testing these things to make them safe enough for humans? They test them on animals. These animals are used for the sake of science and medicine, and even though cures for diseases would be extraordinary, the process behind it is not so exceptional. Animal testing is inhumane and cruel, and these animals are being tortured, burned, starved, and even worse, killed in the process. The reason I am arguing this topic that unfortunately not many people are aware of is because these animals should be treated the same way you and I are. If we were tested on and being tortured in this way, we wouldn't do it would we? Animals feel the same emotions we do, they feel pain and joy just like us. They are kept in places that are not natural to them such as laboratories and factories, and they are not comfortable either. They don't have a warm bed or sufficient food like they should. They are not able to roam free in nature, and most of them are taken away from their families, and unable to raise their own because the experiments affect their bodies in such harmful ways. These animals should have rights, just like we do and they should be free from the terrors of animal experimentation. In Animals used in research have rights, too, it states that “the benefit is that one drug out of 10 actually succeeds in clinical trials and benefits humanity. But by thinking of lab animals simply as a means to an end of human progress, we dehumanize ourselves.” This shows that, yes, we are innovating in the medical and science field, but we are dehumanizing ourselves in the process by putting these poor creatures through hell. In the words of Gandhi, "The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be measured by the way in which its animals are treated." If animal experimentation continues, moral progress is basically thrown out the window at this point. In order to become a more harmonious world, with both animals and humans, we must improve our treatment towards one another.
 


"Animals used in research have rights, too." UWIRE Text 6 Oct. 2014: 1. Academic OneFile. Web. 19 Oct. 2014.

5 comments:

  1. Jaelene,
    Topic Sentence- Your topic could be combined with the following sentence so that readers get the full idea of what your paragraph is going to be about. I was slightly confused on the topic after reading that first sentence.
    Support- Instead of just stating facts, you could find more evidence from articles and websites so your argument looks more reliable.
    Transitions - There were no clear transitions, most sentences started with the word "they."
    Quote- Don't forget to include the parenthesis with the author and page number after each quote in the paper. Your MLA citation looks to be done correctly.
    Grammer and Spelling- Your grammar and spelling look good. I would focus on sentence structure in your next posts.
    Strong Argument- Your argument is very strong because it definitely appeals to the emotions of readers. As I said before, I would incorporate more evidence from different sources
    Compliment- Your concluding sentence is very strong and adequately wraps up the entire paragraph.
    Suggestion for Improvement - Include more sources and relevant cited facts to back up your argument rather than just personal statements

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  2. Jaelene,

    Topic Sentence - I feel the topic sentence could have been stronger. Maybe add more to it to prove your point.
    Support - I think there should be more support. Maybe adding another quote towards the beginning.
    Transitions - I think you should have added more transitions and more than one paragraph.
    Quote - Don't forget to include the author in citation.
    Grammar and Spelling - Looks good, but maybe you can construct your sentences better.
    Strong Argument - Very strong argument. You have convinced me. Compliment - I love how you are the voice for the animals. You did a great job arguing your point.
    Suggestion - Maybe adding more facts and proof of what is being done to the animals.

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  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  4. Topic sentence-I wasn't sure which sentence was your topic sentence. I think the first two sentences are too rushed and would be better placed later on.
    Support-The support seemed to generalized and I think more details or statistics would be helpful.
    Transitions-I feel like the paragraph was too long and more transitions are needed to separate your ideas.
    Quote (in "quote sandwich" format with proper MLA citation-There wasn't an introduction for your quote and no in text citation.
    Grammar and spelling-Overall grammar and spelling had no problems.
    Strong argument-The argument was weak due to lack of support.
    Compliment:I could feel that you are very passionate about your topic and I could relate to how you feel.
    Suggestion: I suggest more facts and reasoning for your argument.

    ReplyDelete

  5. Jaelene Taylor
    Topic sentence - topic sentence is strong to tell what is topic.
    Support - it is opinion and resource from outside, so it is enough to support topic
    Transitions - I couldn't see many transition in paragraph, so maybe it can contain more transitions.
    Quote - it has citation and quite in paragraph and end of paragraph.
    Grammar and spelling - I don't think it has grammar and spelling mistake.
    Strong argument - you make good argument, and your opinion is really strong. people who read your argument should know what is your opinion.
    One compliment - Your topic is big oncern to people especially people who love animals, so you can make people to read your argument.
    One suggestion : work on transitions! That should make your paragraph to read easily.

    ReplyDelete